LIVING A LIFE WITH NO REGRETS
"What if failure didn’t exist?
What if there are dreams deep in our hearts because God is the One who planted them there, and now He’s just waiting for us to take hold of them?
Five years ago, I wrote a short story that I felt had been planted in my heart to share with others. I got overzealous and paid more than $2,000 to get a few thousand copies printed so I could pass them out for free at a rally in San Francisco. What happened next threw me for a loop: My boss ended up scheduling me for that same weekend even though I had asked for it off. I didn’t think it was a big deal until I began having trouble getting my shifts covered. Maybe this was God’s way of saying I wasn’t supposed to go after all. Maybe the whole thing was all in my head. I was ready to give up, when all of a sudden, the clouds parted and someone was able to cover my shifts at work.
(This is the original 2003 version of my book. Would be interesting to find out who still has this?)Now, five years later, my little story has grown from 15 pages with no characters to over 60 pages with character development, action and dialogue, and I am working toward making a small book out of it and eventually getting it published. Was I wrong in paying all that money to prematurely get my unfinished work out? Was I too zealous and trying to move faster than God? Quite possibly I was a little off in the timing, but I did learn a lot in the process. I have no regrets because I learned to become more patient and to understand what waiting for God’s timing really looks like. I learned that for the future it is important to cultivate the seeds I feel God places in my heart instead of immediately looking to share fruit that is not yet ripe.
There are many more times, however, when I didn’t take the leap, when I didn’t take a chance because I wasn’t totally sure it was from God. Indecision has produced paralysis in my actions and has stunted my growth at times. My indecision did not arise from having bad intentions; often I put off a decision because I truly wanted to honor God. But how long shall I keep putting off decisions, dreams or promises I think the Lord has given me as I wait to hear specifics from Him? I don’t regret all the lessons I’ve learned from those times that I have risked, despite not being 100 percent sure. Sometimes we have to be willing to take that step into the infinite abyss of uncertainty and trust that God will be with us no matter what the outcome. When He continues to stir up passion for specific things inside of us, it is probably because it is not just “us” feeling that way, but rather part of the plan He has for us.
This very day I am on the verge of leaving my wonderful church community, family and job to move to Europe to do some extra schooling. This has been something that has been in my heart to do for years now. During a ministry trip to New Zealand last year, this dream inside of me got even stronger. Is this from God? Am I making a mistake by going because I haven’t heard the audible voice from God telling me to go? Is He the one leading me there? Honestly, I am not quite sure if it is Him or me. I haven’t heard Him say “no” yet, so at this point I am diving in. While it will be a sacrifice for me to leave behind everything I know and hold dear, I would rather risk and experience my dream than to not go and to always wonder.
There is a verse that I learned in high school that has stuck with me and has transformed my whole perspective in making decisions. In Romans 8:28, Paul writes: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (TNIV).
How wonderful to know that we can never fail. Failure is a word that need not exist in a life that is called according to the purposes of God. Yes, we do have to deal with consequences of poor decisions, but if we are really seeking God, are guided by His word and are on the brink of making a decision that is in our heart, we know that whatever the result, He will eventually turn it around for our good and grow us in the process, regardless of the results. If we are wrong, we are wrong, but at least we tried and learned something in the process.
Discerning the voice of God isn’t easy, but we shouldn’t let our uncertainty paralyze us. Thomas Merton once said, “A tree glorifies God by being a tree.” So let us shine, let us begin to take risky steps toward those dreams that God is waiting to burst from within our hearts. Let us dive into a life lived with no regrets.
Jen, temporarily living in Old Towne Orange, Calif., before moving to England, will one day get her book, Silver to Gold, published, if it's the last thing she does."
